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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28054680">Shared Smiles</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/squiggledrop/pseuds/squiggledrop'>squiggledrop</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:27:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,002</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28054680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/squiggledrop/pseuds/squiggledrop</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer loves Reader and Reader loves Spencer. The only problem is, they are best friends and are both too scared to admit their feelings. Spencer is afraid to get too close to Reader for fear of losing them. What happens when that line is crossed?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Spencer Reid &amp; Reader, Spencer Reid &amp; You, Spencer Reid - Relationship, Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Shared Smiles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You and Spencer had always been close. Over your years at the BAU, the two of you became best friends. Spencer would bring you a coffee every morning, and in return, you would leave little sticky notes on his desk stating random facts you quickly found on the internet just to make him smile. When you weren’t on a case, your weekends were filled with Doctor Who marathons at your place (you obviously had the better tv) and Spencer planning a “fun” activity at some museum or convention for the morning after. You were the only one on the team who was always up for whatever Spencer had planned. Even if you didn’t find it half as interesting as he did, you would always have a great time because you got to spend the day with him doing what he loves with a giant smile on his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even though you practically lived at each other’s apartments, spending all of your days off together, when you would stay the night at the other’s, there was never a question that one of you would always sleep on the couch. A few months back, when Spencer’s migraines were really intense, you had told him that he could sleep in your bed with you so he could sleep more comfortably. Upon hearing your words, he looked as though you had just told him that you set all of his books on fire. He swiftly shut you down and insisted on taking the couch. He may as well have just set </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> on fire with how much his words wrenched your heart. That was the most pain you had ever felt and all you could do was crack a smile and wish him goodnight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Although you would never admit it, Spencer Reid was the love of your life. Everything you did was to see that beautiful smile of his. Every time his eyes lit up or his nose scrunched, your heart would flutter, and you swore you fell deeper and deeper in love each time. You wanted nothing more than to be the source of all of his happiness, even if your love goes unrequited.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You knew Spencer didn’t feel the same because every time you would try to show Spencer your affection for him physically, he would stare at you with wide eyes and jolt back. He had no problem with trading compliments and showering you with adoration, but when it came to hugging you or even a reassuring squeeze of the arm, Spencer wanted nothing to do with it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You understood that he wasn’t the biggest fan of physical touch in general, but he would hug JJ and let Derek give him a pat on the back. Despite the daggers piercing your heart every time you yearned to touch his soft skin, you reminded yourself that if this was the price you had to pay to have Spencer in your life, it was well worth it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You had just finished up an extremely taxing case and all the team wanted was to sleep. After you assumed your usual spot on the couch next to Spencer, everyone slowly drifted off to sleep in hopes of forgetting the horrors you had witnessed for the past week. You let your eyelids fall and quickly succumbed to deep sleep. You were usually very careful not to move too much in your sleep on the plane, for fear of kicking Spencer, which you were told by your college roommate you do quite violently. However, your utter exhaustion made you unaware of your head sliding down onto Spener’s shoulder. Spencer, however, was very much aware.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes shot open as he felt the weight land on his shoulder. His heart began to race as he looked over at you, with your eyelids fluttering and barely audible snores escaping your mouth. Your mouth…. “No”, Spencer thought to himself. He desperately wanted to pull away from you but he couldn’t stop staring at your lips and thinking how perfectly they would fit on his. Spencer was no stranger to the fact that you would never think of him as more than a friend. He knew he couldn’t live up to the strong, handsome men you dated in the past. He knew he couldn’t let himself get too close to you, because he knew he would never be able to let you go. He knew he couldn’t let himself love you because your rejection would break him and he couldn’t lose you. So he knew he had to keep his distance. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But you looked just like an angel, gracing your head upon his shoulder, so he let himself give in this once, and he rested his head on yours and got the best sleep he has had in months.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When you woke up, you looked around the jet and noticed everyone else was still fast asleep, you quietly hummed to yourself and readjusted your head, only to become acutely aware of the soft purple pillow you had just slept on for the past couple of hours. You looked up to find it belonged to Spencer’s cardigan, which was on his body, which you were laying on. His eyes met yours as you looked up at him, into his beautiful amber eyes, terrified you had made him uncomfortable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi”, he said calmly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey…”, you responded, with a hesitant waver to your voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you sleep well?”, he asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.. you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Best sleep I’ve gotten in a while”, he responded with a slight smirk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You had no idea what to do. Spencer Reid, the man you were madly in love with, who had always acted repulsed at the thought of your touch, had just let you sleep on his shoulder and admitted to having enjoyed it. You didn’t dare move for fear that this would be the only time you would get to be this close to Spencer, and you cautiously awaited him inevitably shifting out from under you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Spencer, however, had no such plans to do so. He wanted to savor every minute of your touch before you realized he wasn’t worth it in the first place. You both just that, sessile, afraid to move. You melted into each other’s touch, awaiting the other to make the first move to leave. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the plane had finally landed, the two of you just sat there and stared at one another, lost in each other’s eyes. You wanted to say something, to tell him how you felt, but as you opened your mouth to say something…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! You two lovebirds coming?”, Morgan yelled from the front of the plane. You shifted off of Spencer as he hopped out of the seat and grabbed his bag and left. He couldn’t bring himself to look at you as he felt his cheeks burning up from Morgan’s comment. He felt so guilty for letting himself relish in your touch when it's something he knows he doesn’t deserve. He hurried out as fast as he could before making an even bigger fool of himself, but as he left, he heard you whisper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Spence…”, you choked out as a tear slid down your cheek as you saw the love of your life run away from you. You sat there for a few moments, harshly brushing the tear away with your hand and collecting your things to leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The whole team regrouped in the conference room to debrief before heading home. As you entered, you took your usual seat by Spencer, hoping to catch his attention to talk about what just happened, but as you sat down he inched farther and farther away from you. You felt the tears well up again as you turned your attention to Hotch who had given you all a well deserved weekend off. Spencer was the first to leave and practically sprinted to the elevators. You tried to catch up to him but were too late. Emily and JJ found themselves by your side and asked if everything was alright as you waited for the elevator to return.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah I’m fine”, you reassured them. They gave each other a knowing look and turned back to you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We know you’re not fine, (y/n)”, JJ said as she rested her hand on your shoulder. The elevator dinged as the doors opened and you walked forward, brushing her hand off your shoulder saying nothing in response. All you wanted to do was go home and cry. So that’s what you did.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Spencer finally made it back to his apartment, the cold, empty feeling surrounding him. This was the first Friday night he has spent alone in a long time and all he wanted was to feel your head on his shoulder again and to take in all of your warmth as you gently dreamed on him. He would give anything to see your beautiful, (y/c/e) eyes shining up at him as he was telling you some obscure fact about popcorn as he waited for the microwave to beep as you were setting up the movie. He made his way to his bed, where he didn’t even bother removing his beat-up converse and just collapsed on the covers. Tears trailed down his cheeks as he fell asleep, picturing you in his arms with your warm cheek smushed against his, an idealistic fantasy that would never materialize into his reality.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As you drove home you replayed the events of the night over and over. Spencer had said he slept great, and he didn’t move away from you when you landed. You knew it was too good to be true. How could you be so stupid? How could you do the one thing you knew would jeopardize your friendship? You didn’t even remember how you got up to your apartment, only that you were now there, staring at the movie Spencer had rented for this weekend sitting on your coffee table that should be playing right now as the two of you sat together on your couch laughing. Your eyesight became blurry as tears poured out of your eyes. You let out a loud wail as you collapsed onto the floor, crying out all of your love for Spencer Reid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On Monday, you made sure to wake up early so you could stop to get your coffee because you had a feeling after Friday’s events, Spencer would not be bringing you your coffee like he did every morning. However, as you walked into the bullpen, you saw a cup of coffee on your desk, and a smile crept its way to your face. You whipped your head around looking for Spencer, but he was nowhere to be found. Confusion consuming your face, you sat down at your desk and grabbed a sticky note from your drawer. Instead of your usual arbitrary fact, you wrote down, <em>“thanks for the coffee :) i missed you”</em>. You left the note on Spencer’s desk and left to find Hotch to get your paperwork.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Spencer returned to his desk after he saw you had left. He felt so guilty for ignoring your texts all weekend, but he couldn’t bring himself to face you. When he got back to his desk and saw the bright blue sticky note his heart skipped a beat. You weren’t mad at him and that relieved some of his anxiety at least. He was about to sit back down when he heard the clanking of heels down the hall and knew it meant he would be needed in the conference room. Garcia appeared and called the team in for a case. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Spencer hesitantly entered the conference room, his eyes falling on you. He waited a moment and then took his spot beside you. You looked up at him with a shy smile and said, “Did you get your daily fact?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah I did, but it wasn’t so much a fact as it was a statement”, Spencer teased with a smile adorning his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your smile grew and his followed suit, causing your heart to release some of the pain that had been built up over the past few nights. As long as Spencer was smiling because of you, things couldn’t be that bad.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, it was a fact, because I did miss you…a lot” you responded, the confident teasing tone hiding all of your true feelings for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I missed you too...a lot”. His eyes shined at yours and you both knew you would be okay, you hadn’t lost the other, and for that you were grateful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wheels up in 30”, Hotch said after Garcia had finished introducing the case.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You left the room with Spencer while catching up on your missed discussion about the latest Doctor Who episode, since you didn’t get to watch it together, and everything felt normal again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You sat next to each other on the jet and worked the case as normal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When you all got to the hotel that night, you and Spencer roomed together as normal. As you were each laying in your respective bed, Spencer turned to face towards you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey (y/n), are you awake?”, he whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mhhmmm”, you mumbled., turning to meet his gaze. You felt your cheeks flush at the sight of his disheveled hair and bare chest, and you were grateful he couldn’t see due to the only light being the moonlight seeping in through the blinds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry about last weekend. I didn’t mean to ignore you... I-I just..”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s okay”, you interrupted, “I get it. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable on the jet, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you, and I’m sorry”, you said while looking at the ground,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t make me uncomfortable! Well I mean… I was, but not because of you.” At this, you were very confused. “It’s just that when Derek said”, he continued. Oh, you thought to yourself, he was uncomfortable at the thought of being with you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look I get it”, you cut him off, “you don’t have to explain yourself. I’m sorry the thought of being with me is that repulsing.” You came off much harsher than you intended and gave Spencer a sheepish look. Spencer’s mind was racing. Surely you were only offended because no one had ever not wanted you and this came as a surprise. You were (y/n) (y/l/n). You were beautiful. Any guy would be crazy if he didn’t want you. There was no way you actually wanted to be with him. Was there? You were both quiet for a minute until he spoke up again with an ounce of newfound confidence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I meant what I said, that was the best sleep I had gotten in a while.” You gave him a small smile, still not sure if he was turned off by the thought of the two of you together or not.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too,” you said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You both stared up at the ceiling unsure of what to do, and slowly you both succumbed to sleep, wishing you weren’t separated by two different beds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The case had been quick, which the whole team was thankful for, and Hotch decided to fly out that night so you all could at least sleep in your own beds. When you got on the jet you and Spencer found your way back to the couch where you had shared many flights together. This time, however, when Spencer sat down, he sat so close to you that he was practically in your lap. You stared at him with wide eyes and he just looked forward with a hesitant smirk lacing his face. After a few minutes of silence and trying, unsuccessfully, to keep your eyes open, you let out a yawn. Spencer took this opportunity to tell you what he had wanted since the last time the two of you were in this position.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can lean on me...I-If you're tired...I mean... You don’t have to. But...I-I. I’d like it if you did”, he let out a breathy laugh and looked up at you, hoping not to find you looking at him with disgust. Much to his surprise, he lifted his head and was met with the biggest smile he’s ever seen on your face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-Yeah...Okay, I’d like that too”, you bit your bottom lip, but couldn’t help the stupid grin that took over your face as you slowly lowered your head to Spencer’s shoulder. As you did, he wrapped his arm around you, hovering his hand over your waist. You took notice and your smile grew even bigger. You took his hand in yours and placed it on your hip and leaned in closer to Spencer, who returned the favor. You both relaxed immediately at the feeling of the other’s warmth and you both drifted off to sleep the happiest you have been for years.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Spencer woke up to the sound of giggling and opened his eyes to find Emily, JJ, and Morgan standing above the two of you. He looked over at you and felt his cheeks burning up again as he saw that the two of you had migrated to laying down in your sleep, you wrapped in tight to Spencer’s chest and your legs all intertwined. Instead of running away this time Spencer gently nudged you awake. You groggily awoke in the arms of the love of your life and were so fixated on the way he was smiling at you that you didn’t even notice your friends smirking above you. They decided to leave you guys be because they wanted to get back to their own beds, but rest assured you would hear all about it in the morning. You and Spencer were left on the jet, still holding each other in your arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi”, Spencer said, his smile so big it hurt. You swore you were dreaming because there is no way you are this lucky. The Spencer Reid is holding you in his arms smiling at you. You are so happy a tear slips down your cheek. “Hey, hey, hey, are you okay?”, Spencer asks as concern creeps onto his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah”, you laugh, “I couldn’t be better”.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As much as I could literally stay here forever with you, this couch really isn’t helping my back pain…”, Spencer says rubbing his neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh god! Sorry!” you jump off of him and he laughs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no it’s okay!” he says following you up, “You’re worth a little bit of back pain”, he grabs your hands and rubs his thumbs over your knuckles. You smile up at him and stare into his glistening, amber eyes. You both stand there for a moment until you finally speak up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We could, um, go back to mine, like usual, if you want”, you say almost hesitantly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, sounds great”, Spencer beams back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On the drive back to your apartment Spencer can’t help but stare at you. You are the most beautiful person he has ever seen and he would look at you for eternity if he could. He is mesmerized by the cute slope of your nose and your adorable rosy cheeks. You always complain about how red they are, but Spencer always tells you how much he loves them and that he takes offense to how you could hate something he finds so endearing. You always brush him off when he compliments you, thinking he’s just trying to be a good friend, you really hoped you were wrong, especially after what happened on the jet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When you got into your apartment you both stood in the entryway unsure of how to proceed. Given Spencer’s track record, you weren’t sure if you should offer him sleep in your bed with you, you didn’t want to assume anything or risk doing anything that might push him away now that you finally have him so close. Spencer on the other hand desperately wanted to continue your previous activity in your bed but didn’t want to push to his luck. You both ended up speaking at the same time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would it…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You first”, Spencer insisted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um oh, okay. Would you want to- I mean… you can… you could… I mean I’d”, you let out a breath and stare at the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would like to sleep in your bed with you if- if that’s okay with you”. You looked up at Spencer, pure joy exuding from your face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That would be very much okay with me”. You grabbed his hand and took him back to your room. You gave him one of your old, big t-shirts to sleep in and went into the bathroom to change. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You returned in a t-shirt and shorts and Spencer was in his boxers and your old t-shirt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-Is this okay?”, he asked, gesturing to his lack of pants. Although you had seen him in his boxers before when you shared rooms on cases, it had never been while sharing a bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course”, you replied with a smile. You both got into the bed, cautious to keep your distance. Despite the more intimate position you had been in before, this was the first time you had ever shared a bed, which was a big step for both of you. You got into your respective sides and got comfortable. Spencer turned to you and brushed his hand across your cheek, causing you to blush even more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it okay if I come closer?”, he asked. You nodded, and he came so close that his arms wrapped all the way around you and your foreheads were touching.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I ask you something?” You asked while staring at his plump lips that were inches from your own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah of course.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, so, not that I am not totally loving this right now, because trust me I am”, you both let out a little laugh,” but, how come you never let me touch you before? I mean, not even like this, but like just as friends, like a quick hug or even a reassuring nudge?”, terror sprung in your eyes,” I mean, not that this isn’t just as friends, but...ugh, you know”. Spencer looked down, avoiding your gaze, and took a deep breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess I just… I don’t know. I thought that if I set boundaries for myself to not get so close to you, I would save myself the pain of losing you when you found someone else to spend all your weekends with who you actually liked, like, romantically.” Spencer still couldn’t meet your gaze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You lifted his chin up with your hand and said, “Spence...Why would I ever want to spend my weekends with someone else? Why do you think I go with you to every history exhibition and foreign film that I can’t even understand?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know, you’re just being a good friend?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, yeah. But, it’s more than that”, you grab his hand and bring it to your cheek, “I do it because the way your face lights up at each museum we got to makes my heart flutter and when you whisper the translations in my ear during films you send shivers down my spine, in a good way. Spence I’m not going to leave for some random guy I like ‘romantically’. You are the guy I like romantically”. And with that Spencer couldn’t help himself but touch you. He cupped your cheeks and finally connected your lips. Your legs intertwined again, as they had been on the flight home. You finally separated for some much-needed air. You stare at each other with the biggest grins on your face, still panting from your mind-blowing kiss. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry (y/n). I never should have stopped you from touching me, but, I’m just warning you, now that I have started, good luck getting me to stop”, he said as he pulled you close. You both laughed and soon fell asleep in each other’s arms, just as you both had dreamed about for so long.</span>
</p>
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